Eulogy for the Old Me: On this day, The Old Me Died. But was resurrected into a New Level in Christ.
Yes, the Old Me died between 4 and 5 A.M. this morning. It was not a natural death, obviously, but a spiritual one. It happened as I talked to my Heavenly Father in prayer. It has taken lo, these many years of life and true salvation; trials, and successes; rebukes from God; and serious spankings from Him, but the Old Me has finally died. When you look at me what you see today may physically look the same. You will see a living, breathing, walking (albeit slowly) and talking maturing female. I may pretty much dress the same and talk the same, but I know that the Old Me has finally died. I wrapped up my little package of accomplishments, education, dreams, desires for my future, gifts, talents, and plans, tied them with a neat bow of surrender and laid it all at the foot of the Cross of Calvary.
Some may think that I have lost my mind as I say these things, but as I think about it, they’re right. I lost my mind and I have finally totally taken on the mind of Christ. Pride, jealousy, and self-righteousness – finally died. Past hurts and struggles with unforgiveness – dead. At last, I can be who God created me to be. As a “dead” person, I no longer have to worry that others might not like me or what He has me to say because I’m dead anyway. I am free to be used of God (or not to be used of God, it’s up to Him) in any way He chooses. On one occasion I cried to God saying, “But they don’t believe what You told me to say.” His response to me was, “Get in line with the rest of the prophets. They didn’t believe them either.” How liberating was that? I was able to lift my head, square my shoulders and wipe my tears away. But I still felt the sting when others rejected the words that He gave me. Well, that will be no more because I’m dead to the rejection of others.
As I laid my little package at the feet of Jesus this morning, something miraculous happened. I came alive into a new life of surrender. I feel very light and liberated today because when I finally laid my Old Me to rest, Jesus resurrected me to a new level in Him. I wonder if this is how the Apostle Paul felt when He had an encounter with Jesus, the Light of the world? Or if this is how Isaiah felt in the 6th chapter of Isaiah? Not sure, but I know that although I have lived for the Lord for decades, I am finally completely ready to do whatever He requires of me. My life is truly no longer my own, for I have died to myself and I have been resurrected to do His will.
I have no idea why it took this long for me to totally let go of the world’s way of thinking about success and taking on a Heavenly mind about success in Christ. Maybe I’m a slow learner (spiritually speaking) but I finally got it. The Lord spoke to me about my ministry from the 3rd chapter of the Book of Ezekiel some time ago and I get it:
Ezekiel 3:10-11 (KJV) “…all my words that I shall speak unto thee receive in thine heart, and hear with thine ears. And go, get thee…unto the children of thy people, and speak unto them, and tell them, Thus saith the Lord God; whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear.
Well, I’ve died out to self and am now alive to do His will. Pray for me as I do the Will of Him that sent me. Dead woman walking…in Christ. BTW, are you dead yet?