As the late Apostle Lobias Murray would often say, “Testimonies build faith”.  The evil suicidal spirit is on the rampage in the Land today.  Following is the testimony of a young woman who actually attempted suicide.  Fortunately, God did not allow her to die at her own hands.  She is a living testimony of the fact that God can and will deliver from a suicidal spirit.  She is now an Evangelist who God is using in a mighty way to help others.

Deliverance from a Suicidal Spirit by Evangelist J. J.

In my early teens, I began to indulge in alcohol, beer, prescription drugs, and cocaine.  I was looking for inner peace and true love in a sinful world.  Once alone, I became despondent and felt unloved.

At age 23, after continued usage of the drugs and alcohol, my life was at the point of, “What’s next?”  I felt alone as if no one understood me.  I had no one to turn to.  There was an emptiness in my life-a void.  During these times an evil spirit would talk to me, discourage, oppress and burden me.  This spirit would tell me that if God loved me, He would not have taken my Father; He would not have taken my Mother, and I would not have had a divorce from my children’s father after 9 1/2 years of marriage.

On Saturday night, August 1977, after coming home from the clubs, this evil spirit began to talk to me from within.  The voice started telling me I was unhappy, lonely, and that no one cared for me.  (By this time, I was in tears).  The spirit told me to get the gun from under the nightstand.  Without giving any thought to my life or my daughters’ future, I obeyed the evil voice.  The spirit told me to point the gun barrel towards my heart and pull the trigger.  The last thing I remember was falling back on the bed and my baby brother calling for help.

When I regained consciousness, I was lying in a hospital bed in the Intensive Care Unit.  I had two tubes in my left side, one coming out of my nose and an intravenous tube in my hand.  Machines were hooked up to my body, and I was in severe pain.  Much damage had been done to my inner organs, and my heart was severely affected.  The doctor gave me only one year to live.

In spite of the doctor’s prognosis for my life, I continued to live.  In 1979 I packed up, and along with my daughters, moved to Dallas, not knowing where we were going to live.  Yet God had mercy on me!  Once we arrived in Dallas, I realized that I was running from myself.  The devil and the suicidal spirit came right along with me. 

From 1977 to 1988 I lived a destructive lifestyle and loved only my four daughters.  Eventually, my daughters grew up and were either in college, in the military or living on their own.

I remember sleeping on Bachman Lake once and awakening to finding a man standing over me.  He told me he was not going to do any harm, he just wanted to know if I was okay.  After he left, I cried unto the Lord, because my Mother had not raised me to be a street person.

On February 12, 1988, the Lord saved me and brought a great deliverance in my heart and soul.  There was no more loneliness or desire for drugs, beer, alcohol, marijuana or even the doctor’s prescription drugs.  My desire had been changed. 2 Cor. 5:17 (KJV) says:  “If any man be in Christ he is a new creature:  Old things are passed away: behold all things are become new”.

The Lord began to mold me and make me into a new creature so that I might be used for his purpose.  The Lord blessed me with a job and with an apartment! II Peter 1:3. (KJV) says  “According to his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue”. 

 Although I had very little, God began to lay it upon my heart to put food in my purse to give to some of the homeless people as I went back and forth to work and to church, while riding the bus.  This allowed me to tell them about Jesus, about how He delivered me and what He was doing in my life.  God gave me a spiritual burden for homeless people.  On Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, my daughters and I would fix dinner, wrap plates of food and take it out to the homeless.  With love and kindness, God drew many of them and gave them a mind to come to my church, Full Gospel Holy Temple.  We witnessed other lives being changed.

 Thirty-three years have passed since the Lord saved me.  I love God with my whole heart, soul, and mind.  He is my very best friend, and I know every day He wakes me to do His will and not my own.  Through my experiences, God reinforced my courage and commitment to go, even more so, to the homeless and to bring them Christ in love and not in fear.  I am yet in God’s mold.

I am very grateful to the Late Apostle Lobias Murray, to Dr. Shirley Murray and to my current Pastor and First Lady, Apostle H. L. Murray and Lady Daniele, for their love for mankind and for teaching me what I know about how to please the Lord.    I was able to retire in 2013 and am now a full-time disciple of Christ, working in His vineyard. 



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